Which Premier League manager will get fired first

Friday, 10 September 2010

Between Two Islands

We sailed on a fishing-boat, between these two shores
the Island of Lovers
and the Island of Whores

Well some footballers have certainly been there recently whether it is Rooney, Crouch or half the French national team there seems to be a recent run of ladies of the night having what they call "affairs" with Premier League footballers. I've never understood how footballers fail to realise that these stories will eventually be sold to the newspapers (especially with Max Clifford sniffing about like a dog on heat) but we seem to be condemned to reading the same old sordid rubbish year after year. I personally would like to see some real scandal involving sportsmen such as England captain reads a book or Shaun Wright-Phillips crosses the ball properly you know real juicy stuff.

Of course George Best and Alex Higgins really started off the celebrity sportsman culture spending loads of time with models and ladies of questionable virtue but while unusual then it is almost a cottage industry now simply because of the vast amount of money that footballers earn and newspapers will pay for stories concerning them. In the 1980s and 1990s pop stars and actors were the main targets of kiss and tell scandals but these have faded into obscurity since the rise of the WAG who are, as we know, West End Girls who want a relationship with a footballer rather than a quick story so that they can maximise the flow of money to spend in boutiques, salons etc (for an example see Alex Curran). Now that is not to say that all footballers wives are money-grabbing self-publicists, the largest proportion of them, in all likelihood genuinely love their husbands and stick with them regardless of circumstances simply because of that, it is just a shame that not all their spouses return that character.

But anyway I promised to talk about Islands and so I shall with the Isle of Wight up in arms about Emma Thompson's remarks on a late night comedy show about torturing people and shooting Scotsmen and the Irish. Apparantly council leaders were up in arms at being confused with the Isle of Man and have demanded that such a thing never happens again. Islands however have a place in our hearts and consciousness that continental countries just don't get. After all Radio 4 don't broadcast Desert Country Discs do they and people speak about escaping to tropical islands rather than countries and there are a myriad of pop songs about Islands but why do we love them so much.

I think the key atrtraction to the Island is the perception that it is unspoilt and no-one else will be living there or if they are it will be at the other end of it providing an unfulfilled escapism that people are desperate for the more monotonous their lives become and they have a romantic view of a simpler life that will be far easier than their current existence (a view that lasts until they need the fridge, washing machine or TV) which is understandable and wuite attractive if a little unrealistic.

The sad thing is as they can't escape to an island people become islands through the paranoia and fear that pervades the media and no longer reach out to a wider community unless it is through the safety net of social networking sites, second life, or role play games. The core identity of a person shifts dependent on what online media they are using and slowly detach themselves from the people who are physically around them to dissappear into a virtual world which is a sea awash with ways of interacting without ever leaving your computer.

Safe in our life-jackets, salvaged from the sea
Now I'm drowning,
Won't you rescue me

The truth is rescue only comes about by embracing the world around you rather than constantly seeking seclusion and remembering the words of John Donne that "no man is an island"

You could follow me on Twitter but not if you live on a remote island with no phone or broadband connection


  1. Adam,there is a compliment in this,but that is not one of your best.Normally they are well thought out pieces of Un**ed propaganda.However,we are all just islands in the stream.

  2. To quote Bloggy;
    No man is an island except the isle of Man.

    One from my archives;

    Is the Isle of Dogs the Isle of Man's best friend?

    A new one:

    Can we take the Isles of Scilly serious?
    I used to like Islands untill the last episode of Lost, what a rip off.