Which Premier League manager will get fired first

Monday, 24 January 2011

How I Learned To Hate Rock ‘n’ Roll

Someone states the obvious
Someone sneers at all you love
Someone preaches ugly manners
excluding some, including me

This is how I learned to hate rock 'n' roll

Rock 'n' Roll a phrase which conjures up various images from long haired hippies with flowers in their hair sitting in the grass strumming their guitars and singing catchy ditties while talking in a drawn out manner like Neil from the Young Ones or people in leather trousers and tasselled leather jackets bawling out songs accompanied by loud guitars, heavy percussion and the occasional keyboard (Aerosmith, Whitesnake etc). As Depeche Mode put it this is Music For The Masses (although their music was primarily electronic).

So why do I hate this type of music?

The easy response would be that rather than hate it I have simply have never liked it as my earliest musical exposure was to New Romantics and Mods, groups like Duran, Duran, Madness, The Jam, Adam and The Ants and then into early Hip Hop/ Electro but that would only be a partial explanation as my musical tastes used to drift along without much focus in the early 80s until the mid-80s resurgence of the synthesiser. An instrument outwardly despised by rock musicians and seen as a necessary evil to produce some of the sounds they needed for their tracks coupled with the perception that a 'real musician' wouldn't need one as they were for people like me who don't play the piano very well and need to sequence their music. This led me to take the opposite view that Rock Music was for hippy communists or middle aged losers who can't dance and still want to be John Lennon (who managed to fit both images of the typical rock musician in my eyes). This was further emphasised by the rise of Indie Music and the sudden desire of everyone in Manchester and its surrounds to dress and play like sub-standard Beatles throwbacks.

Now given the fact that I do own and like some albums and singles by Rock artists you may well be justified in asking how I can claim to hate rock as a genre and it is difficult to explain as it is more due to being contrary and reactionary rather than down to any musical critique. The holier than thou patronising attitude that some rock aficionados have in respect to dance music and anything that uses a keyboard as its main instrument went a long way to polarising my attitude to it. Now that is not to say that Pink Floyd, Metallica, Queen and countless other rock groups have no talent in fact the complete opposite is true in many cases but I just can't bring myself to like them. Part of the problem is the idea that some artists have that they just have to pick up a guitar and they are suddenly rock musicians whilst churning out something which it would be kind to describe as ordinary. During this period of dislike and musical transition certain sounds started to stand out and lead to the path of electronic music. 3 records were instrumental in achieving this, Blue Monday, Two Tribes and It's A Sin. The sounds of these records were completely different from most other synth-based sounds of the mid-80s and pioneered what a good dance track could sound like. Yes there had been good synthesizer groups such as Kraftwerk, Depeche Mode, Ultravox and the Human League but whether it was (in the case of Two Tribes Trevor Horn's production, the fact that Blue Monday was completely different to anything New Order or Joy Division had previously done or the strident chord structures and bass-line of a Stephen Hague produced Pet Shop Boys I decided by the mid-80s that synth-pop and dance were the way forward and stayed with it.

Having decided on my musical direction you would think life would be simple and yet the opposite became true. For every Music For The Jilted Generation there was a Use Your Illusion For every Very, Introspective, Fundamental, Wild, Technique or Yes there has been singles by U2, Aerosmith and others that have sought to tempt the listener back towards rock. Added to that the decline of genuinely good pop music in favour of R&B and Simon Cowell induced rubbish a particular problem has become prevalent. Do I stick with my chosen genre risking the fact that only 1 or 2 decent albums may come out a year, listen to rap music embrace mediocrity or start dusting off the electric guitar and admitting defeat.

All feelings blunted, all passion spent
Everybody does what everybody does

That is what embracing current chart music would bring me, with rap I am always reminded of some dialogue from The Last Boy Scout

Bad guy - You think you're so cool, don't you? You think you're so cool. Well just once, I would like to hear you scream, in pain. Bruce Willis response:

Play some rap music.

Rock music won't make me feel much better although a listen to U2's greatest hits album is always good but I thankfully (due to having to use tapes in the car at the moment) am reminded of one of the central tenets of my musical tastes

don't like country-and-western
I don't like rock music
I don't like, I don't like rockabilly or rock 'n' roll particularly
Don't like much really, do I?
But what I do like I love passionately

Listening to those thumping Chris Lowe bass lines and chord structures reminds me of what I do love passionately music-wise and it does not involve leather pants and long hair.


  1. You don't like Country and Western?

    It's a well known fact that the P*t S**p B**s claim their greatest influence to be Conway Twitty.In fact,PSB have covered a number of his tunes.

  2. That's a pernicious lie and Ngog is influencing the wrong people

  3. Adam,
    That sums it all up, synthetic music

    there are many more classic RnR tracks to be heard than synth, tho my taste is probably wider than yours(except Jazz),I am prepared to accept most styls but RnR live has no equal

    Having said that, hope to see Human league in April when they come to Hamburg

  4. Things you will hear Chris and Neil say all the time......

    "'Release' was our most successful album"
    "We love it when fans come up to us and ask for a photo"
    Neil is actually alright with this but granted Chris is a bit grumpy about it

    "We invented house/electro/rock/pop/schlop/hip hop music"
    "We hate Madonna AND Robbie (take that) Williams
    "'Go West' was a great career move"
    It was actually - highly successful in the UK & Europe - sent Very to Number 1 in the album charts on the back of it and it is the Song of Football
    (Via Twatter) "Here's last night's supper."
    "It doesn't often snow at christmas. With global warming and whatnot.Except at our London 2009 Christmas gig." (and the Glasgow 2009 one as well - I drove back in a blizzard after that)
    "Gosh! I'm so dashing aren't I Chris? Oh yes! We are simply dazzaling m'dear..."

    Nice attempt at irony on the others though and Chris probably would have a point with the ballet bit although I don't think Stuart Price is doing the production on it

  5. Things you will hear everybody say,except Adam,about PSB.

    "Man alive,who's torturing that poor cat."

    "Eh?Music?No,it's my new tactic at frightening away burglars"

    "Are they still doing operations without anaesthetic now?"

    "The only PSB album I'm looking forward to is the new Unplugged one"

    "This is the most awful hackneyed 80s synth tat"

  6. David Niven Casino Royale although woody allen as little Jimmy Bond is the funniest james bond

    Listen. You can't shoot me. I have a very low threshold of death. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time
    What if I said I was pregnant?
    Could I have a last c-cigarette?
    I'm gonna give it up any day now.
    Thank you.
    You realise this means an angry letter to The Times.
    So long, suckers!
    ¡Apunten! ¡Fuego!

  7. Interesting piece Adam.

    I worked in the dance scene for years, yet I could easily listen to rap, rock, etc.

    As I've said before I believe there are only two types of music; music you like and music you don't like.

  8. True enough H2H and I probably like far more varieties of music than I admit to

  9. Extremely poorly written nonsense. Give up.

  10. When you write without any punctuation it very quickly becomes tiresome to read long sentences and paragraphs when thoughts and the salient points of those sentences start to blend into one another after all this is what happens when you write with a conversational style as opposed to a structured way of delivering your opinions but which would be so better conveyed with even the slightest nod to punctuation since whether or not I agree I lose the will to continue reading. Geddit?

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